The Best Weight Loss Diet: How to end the dieting cycle for good

The best weight loss diet is a combination of making permanent change for life, and changing our behaviours around food. The hunt for weight loss diets that perpetuate the dieting cycle continue to consume people in their desperate search for a solution to weight management.

Weight management starts with the internal belief that you are a thin, healthy person, and, from there, you can adopt lifestyle behaviours that fit with who you really are. I've heard so many overweight people say that they're a thin person on the inside. "This fat person is not who I am," they say. So how do we take that conscious belief and make it a reality? We begin on the inside where our behaviours around food originate.  This is our control centre, where our current eating habits lie.

Becoming Conscious: Why are we overweight?

How can we possibly find a solution for change until we know how we got where we are, until we understand the behaviours that continue to drive us to overeat and crave the wrong foods? I believe there are two primary influences (outside of psychological convictions) that have contributed to our society of overweight over-eaters:

1. The reward centre in our brains is overloaded with the proliferation of high-fat, high-sugar, high-salt, processed foods. We're so far gone (physically addicted) when it comes to gaining control over our chemical drives around processed food that these bad, obsessive behaviours are ingrained. So, we're forced--over and over--into desperate, dieting techniques that merely add to our demise.
   
   These behaviours will not go away until we consciously change. So, unless your new weight loss diet begins with the foundation of permanent change, you'll, inevitably, go back to your old ways. Eventually the weight will come back, and you'll begin the cycle again.

1. We eat too much.
   One reason we eat too much is that we simply can't stop for the reasons I've stated above: we're addicted. Secondly, because portions sizes and portion control are out of whack, we've become completely out of touch with our bodies. We no longer know what it feels like to be hungry; to feed our bodies simply because they need and are asking for nourishment.
   
   We clean our plates no matter how much food is put on them. Unfortunately, super-size has become the norm. And, we eat as though we can't get more, forgetting that there is an abundance, and we'll eat again in four or six hours. We forget that any excess will get stored as fat and that we'll work twice as hard to get it off than to have pushed ourselves away from the table.

What we need is an attitude adjustment

Dieting is dieting. It's deprivation and starvation. No wonder it takes so much will power and strength to begin a "diet" on Monday morning. It's horrible! And no way to live. 

My question to you is this: When you start that diet, do you think about what will happen after it's finished? When you've lost the weight, how will you eat? What will you eat? How will you deal with grocery shopping and temptation and celebration? How will you react when bad food is available to you? How will you choose what to do?

I can answer all of those questions for you. The only behaviour you know is what got you in this mess in the first place. The overeating, poor decisions, and bad reactions to situations will not change unless you change them.

Dieting is not a long-term, permanent solution.

Dieting doesn't create new, positive behaviours around food. It doesn't teach you how to say no and feel good about it. It doesn't teach you how to enjoy a treat now and then and get right back to healthy eating--not dieting--the next day.

Dieting only makes you want food more because you've suffered and deprived your body of what it needs to be healthy. The only successful weight loss plan is the one that embraces whole, healthy, unprocessed foods as a permanent way of life. A plan that changes core beliefs about food and teaches us how we can enjoy food as the beautiful, nourishing part of life that it is.

How Does Failure Affect Permanent Weight Loss?

I was thinking about failure today, and the further I ventured into the topic, I realized that most of my successes are a result of failures. Had I not blown so many diets over the years, I would have missed the opportunity to learn how to love and respect food. Failure taught me to live in harmony with food and to stop using it as a drug. Failure taught me to consistently look within myself to find the answers to my addiction. Constant trial and error evolved into a healthy cycle of failure and growth and failure and growth. . .

The concept of failure is a major contributor to our negative belief systems. We learn early on that to fail is bad. To fail at something is embarrassing, and leaves us wide open for ridicule. I believe that most of the judgment comes from within. Most people admire others for trying.

When struggling to lose weight, many people give up right at the moment of failure. For some, failure means the end. There's no turning back or picking up where they let off. It's final. Our negative beliefs about ourselves play the same old tapes over and over . . . "I'm no good, I'll never succeed, I'm weak . . ."

The problem with this fixed mentality is that it validates those ugly beliefs and strengthens them even more. So, each time we have a setback, we're convinced it's hopeless. We stop trying anything new because we'll inevitably fail.

The real failure is the refusal to learn from our mistakes. Failure comes in many shapes and sizes. And, everyone has a different perspective on what constitutes failure. Some consider having a piece of chocolate cake a failure, especially if they've just started a new diet. I used to. But now I look at it as simply being human. I've learned to choose my words carefully, too. Enjoying one piece of yummy, delicious chocolate cake for a special occasion is, perhaps, a blip, a minor setback, or maybe even a treat, but not a failure.

The concept of failure is just another one of our crappy self-defeating beliefs that we can change over time. Failure is an inevitable part of our growth and success. It's a golden opportunity to move beyond what we know.

Why Awareness is a Vital Step in Behavior Change

In the last post, I introduced you to the concept of awareness. Now let's look more closely at why being consciously aware of our behaviors is so important to your weight loss efforts.

Awareness gives you the power

You can't control your behavior, therefore, your life, if you're not aware of what you're doing. When you become present, your thoughts, actions, and behaviors are controlled by your conscious mind, not the subconscious beliefs that run the show when you're not looking. And, let's face it, most of the time we're not looking. When you slow down and become aware of your thoughts and behaviors, you're better equipped to create new, healthy behaviors and make them stick.

Here's how it works. Let's go back to our donut example from the previous post. Instead of grabbing the donut and unconsciously wolfing it down, I pause for a second. The fact that I pause means I've moved into a conscious way of thinking. I've temporarily stepped out of my subconscious programming. Yay!

Now I ask myself, 'Do I really want this and why?' My answer: Yes, I want it. Because it tastes sooooo good, and will make me feel darn good right now. As soon as I eat the donut dopamine will flood my brain and I'll feel fantastic, for a mere second. Who am I kidding . . . ? Bingo--wrong reason to eat a donut, although I can't really think of a good one.

'Am I hungry?' Answer: No. I just ate breakfast. How can I be hungry?

Hmmmm, and finally, 'How will I feel right after I've eaten this donut?' Answer: Not good. I'll feel guilty and angry and ashamed and my day will be ruined. I'll be cranky and miserable and starve myself for the rest of day. Interesting, all of the things my subconscious mind desperately wants me to feel so that it can validate all those negative beliefs I've had since childhood: I'm a failure; I'm stupid; I don't deserve happiness; I feel bad. . . . Well, I'm simply not playing that game.

Guess what? After all that, I don't want the donut anymore. My coffee's ready, and I'm going back to my desk to enjoy it and feel good about myself.

After years of using this simple weight loss technique, I rarely follow through on the initial temptation.

Now, that's not to say that I never cheat or fall victim to cravings and temptations. I do. But through consistent, conscious effort over the years, my internal belief system says that I no longer need food for instant gratification. Through regular practice, I've changed my brain. More on that later!

If I, a recovering anorexic and bulimic, can do it, so can you. Give it a try. Like anything, the more you do it, the better you get. (I'll explain why in later posts.) Your goal is to make it a subconscious way of being, so that you no longer have to think.

Weight Loss Fads and Gimmicks Don't Work People!!

Have you dieted endlessly without success? Have you gained back more weight than you've lost? Are you frustrated, angry, confused, depressed, and feeling hopeless? I'm not surprised, and you're not alone in your suffering. Millions just like you have struggled with food and weight issues most of their lives.

There is hope. Successful, permanent weight loss is possible.

But, I have to tell you, it takes work. Unfortunately we live in a "quick fix" society where we want everything yesterday, especially weight loss. Believe me, I've tried them all, too. Fad diets, quick weight loss programs and gimmicks simply don't work. You've tried them all, haven't you? Have they worked for you, or are you stuck, or should I say imprisoned, in an endless dieting loop that has negatively affected every aspect of your life?

I'm happy to say that I'm no longer in that horrid loop. I finally have a healthy relationship with food and live an active, healthy lifestyle. It didn't happen over night, and it took a lot of work.

 First Steps . . .

My first step was to ask myself what I really wanted. Until you know this truth, you won't succeed with permanent weight loss and lifestyle change. I wanted to eat to be healthy and not feed my emotions, to maintain a healthy weight, and to be consistently active for the rest of my life. I wanted my struggles with food and weight to end.

Do The Work!

Grab a pen and paper and ask yourself these questions. What do I really want? Ask it in as many ways as you can think of. Hint: It's far deeper than "I want to lose x amount of pounds". What do I need to do to get there? And, am I willing to do what it takes? Sit with these questions for as long as it takes. The answers have to come from your core. That's the only place you can begin to gain the wisdom you need to move forward.

Permanent lifestyle change is an inward journey. It's not easy, but it's worth the ride!